KDUNK

Things that you asked or said today:

-You wanted to know in depth what a curb was. Why a car can’t park on it. What purpose a curb serves us in the world.

-You said I couldn’t touch your purse because it’s private

-After a recap (we are toilet training) that it’s maybe not a good idea to pee your pants with no diaper on you said (and this is word for word), “Ok. I’m sorry Mom. Don’t pee in underwear. Don’t poop in underwear. No more diapers. Just underwear. Ugh! So many things!!!”

-At Nathan’s in Coney Island – where every other kid in America was ordering a hot dog you asked me for an apple because you hate meat and you never eat it

-At the Coney Island Aquarium which you called ‘A-squarium’ – before approaching the Shark room you asked again, “Sharks BEHIND the glass right, Mom?” Just checking.

-You had a fall down tantrum because I zipped up your chapstick in a tiny purse and you wanted it ‘loose’ and oh my gosh that was horrible ie: you were hungry

-You asked Dad to replay moment by moment the time he recently scraped the rims of the car by mistake against the toll booth cement curb because he was too close

-You said, “Mom, it’s too hot today”

-You said, “I can get no tattoo Daddy says never” while wagging your finger

-You clutched your tiny, melting cup of soft serve vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles so tightly until we got to the train where I said we’d have to chuck it and then you shoveled in three giant more scoops and then tossed it in the garbage saying, “There were a few more licks in there Mom” – but you never looked back. I like your style. You played by the rules.

-You pooped on the potty today (sorry non-kid people reading this – super gross I know) – but a huge accomplishment! Day three!

-You pulled on my skirt/shirt at random times today asking with much excitement if you could please say ‘hi’ to random strangers or smile – throughout the day and then got even more excited when I said yes

-You made me be the voice of your stuffed octopus during pretend play while you played babysitter.

-You called me Nanny at bedtime and then nearly peed your pants laughing so hard at your mistake – ha ha funny

-You smeared a glue stick on your lips like chapstick

-You ‘helped’ Daddy while he converted your crib to a big girl bed. Tonight when I put you in it a naughty grin came across your face as you said, “I CAN GET OUT!”

Oh…it’s only just begun my little darling hasn’t it. We love you so much!

xo

Dear Lils:

Well…it finally happened. The very same actions I used to make fun of other people doing I now do myself. You know. The kinds of things you say, “I’ll never do that as a Mom!” and then you end up doing. Over the weekend you joined in the fun for your first pedicure. And I have to say – it was pretty darn adorable and cute. I must confess. YOU LOVED IT. Look out world.

xo

This you likes/dislikes at 2.5 years:

LOVE:

• Yogurt – sometimes with a shake of sprinkles – yes it’s come to this
• Playing with magnetic blocks – making towers/houses/stoves/animals with Dad
• Stuffed animals – we have to carry about 3-5 with us at all times
• Making up pretend names for your dolls such as “Allergena”
• Tattoos – fake (lets keep it that way)
• Chapsticks
• Rubber bracelets called “Silly Bandz”
• Chocolate chip pancakes
• Saying, “I want to do it like my big girl” (somehow my got in there)
• Singing “Baa Baa Blacksheep” and ABC’s
• Pushing your pink doll stroller around
• When we let you sit at wheel of car to ‘drive’
• Reading a book about hermit crabs from Nani

DISLIKES:

• Meat – never liked it – seemingly never will – yesterday I snuck some chicken in pasta and you looked at me with such a sad, sad helpless but earnest expression saying, “Mama…I don’t like meat…please…” Sigh. Ok ok!
• Putting shoes on, getting dressed, getting diaper changed, etc.
• Bibs – you say they ‘smell’
• Smells – very, very sensitive to smells
• Cheese – YOU HATE CHEESE

More things to add but I need a glass of wine – love ya!

xo

Dear Lils:

I want to thank you so much for being such a cutie fun person to go to music class with all season. It got us through a long winter. And all the funny little tunes got us through the beginning of spring into almost summer. Some of your favorite songs were ‘Uncle Joe’ – did you ever go and see Uncle Joe Uncle Joe did you ever go and see Uncle Joe…did you ever go and see Uncle Joe Uncle Joe don’t mind the weather when the wind don’t blow – hop up my ladies three in a row – hop up my ladies three in a row – hop up my ladies three in a row don’t mind the weather when the wind don’t blow’ (or something like that).

You loved going to every class and despite any mood swing you were on for the day you always rose to the occasion and got so excited when I told you it was time for music class.

Here is something I loved about this class Lili. You just did your own thing when you felt like it and everyone seemed to be ok with it. Especially me. At first in the earlier classes I was uptight and ok…a little stressed that you wouldn’t sit down and listen to the teacher and do exactly as she said. But once I loosened up and realized nobody else was judging us so why should I? Things got a whole lot more fun.

Attached are some examples of you in music class marching to the beat of your own drum:

where's my child? oh back there with her legs up hanging out alone

My most favorite thing you did every class Lili was when the teacher brought out the basket of instruments for kids to play you earnestly ran up to the teacher every time despite the chaos with eyebrows raised and said, “One for mommy?” Then happily you would run back to me with a little mallet and a little drum of my own. I love you Lils. Keep inspiring me to follow your lead. And I will listen.

xo

Dear Lili,

You are the most hilarious most random person I know. Tonight while trying to wind you down in the dark I rocked you in the chair humming very quiet songs. You munched on some Rice Chex cereal in the dark and out of nowhere had the following gems to share:

L: DELICIOUS!

L: CONGRATULATIONS! (complete with throwing your arms in the air)

And then after wanting me to recount play by play our recent visits to Nanny and Papi’s house you said with a deep and heartfelt sigh,”I love it there”

You are a trip Lils. And I love every moment of your hilarious and constant, wild, little wheels turning mind.

xo

Dear Lili:

Here is my deep thought for today…

Kristen Williams wonders if you’ve ever successfully feed cereal with milk to a person riding a mechanical bull – if so – you’ve fed a spirited toddler

xo

Dear Lili:

Lately you are…well…how do I say it…interested in the ‘lower regions’ of men and women. While in your crib the other morning I walked in and your first words were:

L: (while motioning to your lower region) What mens have?

K: What?

L: What mens have?

K:Oh…men…have a penis

L: (screaming) NO! PA-GINA!

Dear Lils,

Your latest obsession is spray bottles!

I need my spray bottle

Where is my spray bottle

I need more water in my spray bottle

I need a brown spray bottle

Look out Brooklyn. Prepared to be sprayed…

Dear Lili,

This morning you woke up at 5:15AM. It was pitch dark and rainy outside and you were ready to rumble.

On mornings like this I grab my cozy fleece robe I wore all through my pregnancy. The giant, cozy robe that I still bust out on nights Dad is out of the house in fear of him turning in photos of me in ‘said robe’ to a TLC makeover show about wives that still wear their maternity clothes. But it is just so cozy and ok. I admit it. It reminds me of when you were a little, little baby.

This morning you wanted to curl up on the couch with me which is such a rare treat. I tucked you under one arm and said, “Lili, I used to wear this robe in the early mornings when you wouldn’t sleep and hold you like this.” I wrapped you up in the robe and rocked you back and forth. You liked it for about thirty seconds and then struggled to get out of my embrace,

“Mom. Lili is a big girl now.”

Boo hoo. So true my darling. So true. Wah.

xo

Excuse me monkey. The baby sleeps here. Here you go monkey. Take you here. Put you in your stroller. Goodnight. Here is the blanket. What are you saying Big Bird? We need this. We need a blanket. And this. And this. And this. Where is my spray bottle? I need some agua in here to spray some water. I need to spray my agua mommy. You get some agua for me? Here you go. Here Mom. My spray bottle. Thank you mommy. Wowee. What’s today Mom? It’s not working. I want to do it. I found my bottle! One to three. I’m spraying here. That’s my bottle. I’m spraying. Want me to spray on you? I’m spraying baby. It’s too dirty. Look at my seat? My sister. My baby goes here, here. My baby goes here. And here. And for now. You look lovely. Together. Thank you. Put you here and here. Everybody you can watch. I sit here. I like it for now. You are friends? Like this? Wow-wee! What you doing everybody? I miss the blanket. No. You a little baby. He’s a little baby. It’s my sister. No. There’s the baby. I put some in here. Spraying time. Boink. I’m going to come here. Near giraffe. I can sit down here. I’m so happy. Yay. Look Mommy. It’s a bag. I’m going to straighten the bag. One for now. I sipped the agua. I sipped the agua Mommy. Good. It tastes like agua Mommy. I go in the shower. I need to have this blanket. You open this for me Mama? I need some money Mom. I need some pretend money Mom. I need to take my shower. I take my shower Mommy. One to three. Look at my shower sticker. Oh no. I get it. Where is it. I found this. I break it. That’s my table. I need to spray this. No se. Ok. Uh-oh. I need to have a napkin. Wash my hands. What you do? Clean Snowy? You help me with my animals Mommy? Ok Mom. Thank you. Put monkey in here. Put baby in here. This is a soccer ball plate. You see? We have a picnic. Here. You want to sit Snowy? Look Mommy. I’m on the stoop. We sit. Look Mommy. I can kneel. Ok Mom. Sit. Like that. I’m a ballerina. I’m a man Mommy. I’m a ballerina with my money. Look at my new shirt in here. You see Mom? I need to get it. Ok baby. You can have your bottle for Snowy. Here you go monkey. Here is your blanket here. For that. Here is your bottle here. I can sit here for now. Have a nice day.

Dear Lili,

Recently we’ve noticed that you have a bit of a Brooklyn accent. Here are some of the gems you say in a real Edith Bunker style accent:

CHAW-LEE: Charlie (your friend)

PAW-TEE: party

STROLL-LA: stroller

YOGRIT: yogurt

CAW-FEE: coffee

Since half your words are Spanish there is also some Spanglish happening too. Many items you tag “El” or “Los” on to which is cute and funny. Perhaps our favorite to date though is “Blanco Booty” – white pirate booty snack.

XO

Dear Lils,

Lately I’ve been hoping and wondering what our relationship as mother and daughter will be when you grow up. I think every mother hopes they can one day be ‘friends’ with their daughter. But I sincerely hope that I can be at least someone you love and tolerate because if not I don’t know if I could stand it! I love you way too much. See. I thought I’d get a jump start on the guilt.

Today something funny happened and I wondered if it might be a reflection of our future as mother and daughter.

When I was not looking in the kitchen you took a marker and drew on the top of one of our nice white garbage cans. When I saw you out of the corner of my eye I gasped and yelled:

K: (GASP!) LILIAN! STOP THAT! GO TO YOUR ROOM! NO DRAWING ON THE GARBAGE CAN

And being the little naughty devil that you were you did it again on the other white garbage can sitting next to it.

Again, I gasped. The whole thing ridiculous really. Yelling at a toddler for drawing on a garbage can. But you screamed and yelled and then ran pretend yelling to your room.

Then five minutes later you came back in and said,

L: Sorry Mommy

K: (hugging) It’s ok Lili. No drawing on things. We only draw on paper

L: Ok Mommy

K: Ok. Want to go to the park.

L: Ok. Mommy?

K: Yes?

L: I love you.

K: You love me? Aw. Why?

L: Pa-cause. I love you VERY much

I love you Lils. Maybe we can promise each other to continue to explode with honesty and get it all out there and then have it be over shortly there after and enjoy the day. It may be a little dysfunctional but so far it works for us. I love you.

XO

Dear Lili:

You like me and all…but when your Dad (aka Gagee as you’ve called him your whole speaking life) enters the room, comes home from work or appears at the playground out of nowhere you act the same way you have since you were a little baby – ARMS FLAPPING, LEGS KICKING, INSANELY OUT OF YOUR MIND OH MY GOSH LOOK GUYS THERE HE IS – IT’S MY DAD – happy.

A list of things you currently love to do with your Dad or things Dad has taught you:

-kick a soccer ball – you two are now attending a Saturday morning class together (although last time you went you asked if you could bring all your flavored chapsticks)

-like playing ‘hammock’ a game that involves Dad wrapping you or your stuffed animals in a blanket and swinging you around saying, “Weeeeee” resulting in tons of giggles

-cackling – like a crazy witch

-reading stories together specifically Richard Scarry and Miffy

-visiting Dad’s office and asking everyone that works there if they like chapstick and to show you their chapsticks

-take pictures together – time to get you a camera of your own

-going ‘AHHHHHHHHH’ after drinking something cold or tasty

-going to the Brooklyn Art Museum together and eating fresh waffles while Dad watches European soccer

-stacking dominoes up back to back like ‘tents’

-you love wearing his glasses and have always enjoyed taking them off his face

-having Dad wrap you up like a baby in a swaddle. He continues to be the king of swaddle even in pretend play!

-rocking out to music together and having a dance party

-always love tub time together – last night you filled up a cup with bubble foam and unprompted offered Dad a pretend beer!!!

There is so much more and I could go on forever but those are some of my favorites. May this list continue to always grow. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you two buddies together.

XO

Lili,

Sometimes when I do not want to go into somewhere say…a toy store, etc. I tell you it is closed. Ok. This is wrong of me. I know I should really stop the stroller and bed down on one knee and have a deep conversation with you that just because you want something doesn’t mean that you….blah blah blah. Instead I tell you ‘it’s closed’. We stroll on.

Well, my little phrase has come back to haunt me.

The other night you did not want me to attend a party in Manhattan. When I said I was going you said,

L: (shaking head) I don’t think so Mommy…it’s closed.

K: What do bears eat?

L: Honey

K: What do mice eat?

L: Cheese

K: What do birds eat?

L: Eggs

K: Eggs? No worms

L: NO EGGS!!!

K: No – birds come out of eggs.

L: NO EGGS!!!

K: Ok fine. Eggs. What do snakes eat?

L: Mommies

Lili to a three-year-old boy on the playground yesterday who had ZERO interest talking to her:

Lili: Hi boy!

Boy: (silence)

Lili: What your name?

Boy: (silence)

Lili: Say hi

Boy: (silence)

Lili: HOLA (thinking maybe he spoke Spanish instead)

Boy: (silence)

Lili: What wrong? You tired?

Lili on my unshaven legs…

Lili: (touching leg stubble) Ow! What is that?

Lili: Like a cactus

Dear Lils,

I am having SUCH fun with you in our little patch o’green out front in Brooklyn. Today you and I spent at least 2 hours pulling weeds, planting seeds, watering things, etc. To translate this into your world this means me assigning you to pick the dandelion flowers and I follow and dig them up, you delicately placing seeds inside the tulips (your verison of planting), you filling up your tiny watering can which you call a ‘tea pot’ and literally pouring water over everything BUT the flowers, etc. Overall a great time.

My mother is the Master Gardener in the family. I hope you get her touch for flowers. Over Easter weekend you and Nanny two spent hours outside planting and watering and doing things in the garden together. You were FILTHY and I loved every minute of it. PS – I think it is very cute that you insist on wearing a pretty sundress when we garden in Brooklyn. You don’t do this when we are out visiting your grandparents in ‘the country’. Clearly you are very stylish.

When you were in my mother’s garden you planted seeds and then sat in the dirt with your hands on either side of your face ‘waiting’ for the flowers to bloom. While it was hard to explain to a toddler that things take time you are getting the hang of it and are very excited by flowers.

Unable to resist the symbolism in all this I will take a corny moment out to tell you how proud and amazed I am by you at your growth more and more each day. Your words. The way you run. The way you carry yourself. All of your fantastic outbursts and verbal expressions. We love you so much Lils. I never believed life could continue to be better and better being your Mom.

A quick funny tale…

Just the other morning I was strolling you down our Brooklyn block. Out of nowhere you screamed in excitement, “Look Mom! Forsythia! But I like purple Crocus.”

XO

• (after bath before combing Lili’s hair) K: What color is my hair Lili? L: Brown K: What color is your hair Lili? L:Crazy

• Was just told by Lili with a judgemental stare: I don’t like your hair crazy

• Watched tonight as Lilian (who has actually been an angel for the 5 days E has been gone) released her pent up devilishness in three short hours and then tried to win me over at my final straw (calling me in her room for 75th time) to say to me, “Mama…nice pants“

• Was getting frustrated by fixing something and Lili asked, “What’s wrong sweetie?”

• Has an earthworm and a wineglass of dirt in her bathroom after Lili’s convincing performance complete with tears, actual hugging of worm and sobs that she would miss ‘wormy’ (dug up in our front yard) if she couldn’t bring him upstairs into our Brooklyn apartment

• Just broke the news to Lili that the pacifier fairy was coming to town soon to take away all the pacifiers and leave a big girl present. She paused and said with an icy stare: I don’t like fairies

• Was just told by Lili who took one long stare at my ‘trapped indoors with sick toddler’ hairstyle and said: Mommy – you need haircut day

• K: (yawn) I’m tired! – E: (yawn) Me too – Lili: (fake yawn): I’m tired too. Everybody has tired

Dear Lilster:

Tonight we did a practice run of dying Easter Eggs which we will do for real at Nanny’s house this weekend over Easter. I just have to say for a moment how totally cute you are and I can’t believe how grown up you are acting as of late.

First: We had to go out in the pouring rain to the drugstore to buy eggs. That’s right people. Here in New York you can buy eggs at the drugstore. There we waited on line for about 45 minutes (ok maybe 10 but it felt like 45) for a woman to purchase Easter Egg basket materials (candy, stickers, stuffed animals, plastic eggs, fake grass, etc.) for an army of children. You patiently just stood next to me without a single peep looking up every once in a while like, “Dude? This is taking forever.” And I gave you that same look back like, “Seriously…” We finally paid and left.

Next: We had to go home and boil the eggs. I never made Easter eggs like this before. I grew up in a house where we blew out the egg yolks and then washed out the insides. Who has time for this? Not us. Also – you are allergic to egg whites and this seemed like a bad idea. So I boiled the eggs but not long enough by mistake so they…how do I put this lightly…STUNK UP THE HOUSE

Then: We set out the glass bowls on the covered living room table where you happily plunked a color tablet in each bowl of water. You enjoyed putting eggs in a color for oh…two seconds before you were on to the next. You mostly liked taking the spoon and pouring the yellow into the green the green into the red the red into the blue…your overall attention span was about 15 minutes which I give you credit for my darling dear!

I told you the other day the Easter Bunny was going to come and leave you an Easter Basket. You said with no emotion at all, “I want presents and candy”. At least you know what you want.

Today your sitter gave you an adorable little basket of goodies. Inside were little plastic eggs each holding the most perfect gift for you right now Lilian – each plastic egg held a chapstick. Does she know you or what?

Dad and I look forward to celebrating with you.

xo

Dear Lils,

I would like to just share with you what a HUGE difference parenting a two-year-old and three month child vs. anything younger is. You are able to totally tell me everything you need, want, etc. Half my brain is coming back – the part that used to think about my goals and personal health and remembering to buy milk, etc. The part that I devoted the last two years using only to think about you and your many needs – “Is she crying because she is hungry?” etc.

If something hurts we say, “Do you have a boo boo?” And you say yes and can tell us exactly where it us. When you want something you say directly, “Lili want more yogurt”. If you are full you say, “No – I’m fine”. If something frustrates you now you are able to say “Lili wants COLD water in sippy”. Right now I went in to put you down for a nap and you were not sleeping. Instead of solving the big mystery as to why you were still awake I opened the curtain to your room and you said immediately and clear as day, “I need a diaper change.”

This is HUGE for a parent. It saves soooo much time and energy just to know exactly what needs handling and to get it done. Our life is starting to resemble the little flowers poking up currently in our front lawn under  the melting snow. Things feel as if they can only get better.

xo

Dear Lili,

We had such a FUN day in the snow yesterday. It was one of those magical Brooklyn moments where the sun was shining and snow was falling in large flakes and all our friends joined us in the park and I took you for a ride on a sled. Dad plans to get in some serious sledding time with you today too and I know you guys are going to have just as much fun if not more!

The most ‘Lili’ part of the day was that you insisted on carrying your little silver shopping bag around with you at all times and held it on your arm like the proper little lady. The contents of your bag included some loose change, a set of house keys, some costume jewelry, a Metrocard, two Chapsticks and one packet of mustard. That’s my girl!

I hope you don’t kill me for buying you this snowsuit. It was $4 at a second hand store but SO CUTE! I like the bright color. It’s very happy like your personality. If not…also a little 1973 at the same time. Anyway, it keeps you warm and that is all that matters. Here you are with your buddy Charlie.

Baby Will joined too. What a trooper! He joined right in the snow bunny fun.

Having a kid has allowed me to get out of the house and enjoy the old fashioned winter fun I experienced as a kid. Now if only we can find a pond to go ice boating like where I grew up then we are in business.

xo

Today we were trapped in the house because you had a small fever all day. But we still had fun. After the long day you took one long look at my messy hairstyle and said:

Mama, you need haircut day

Dear Lils,

You are truly my little winter baby. Born in December you relish in cold weather and getting outside. Nothing brings a smile on your face like a hearty freezing whipping wind, playing in and eating snow and overall temps near zero.

Your mother is a summer baby. I was born in August. I come most alive in the warm baking sun with a minty beverage on ice in my hand. When I leave the house I am constantly overdressed. A friend once made fun of me when I showed up to meet her for dinner wearing what she swore was my down comforter with a belt tied around it. Ok – so my winter jacket is a little extreme. Sue me.  But I really truly believe the month one is born in is the weather one really ‘comes alive’. Ok – it’s a little hippie dippy I know.

So here we are today – freezing cold outside and you are loving life. What are you doing in this picture? That’s right, you are on your back on the park picnic table watching the clouds go past in the sky as if we are on a picnic blanket in the grass somewhere in the middle of August.

Lili: Look Mommy! Clouds go fast!

Me: Oh wow! So fast! (inside voice: Are you kidding me right now?! I am FREEZING)

Once thing that is consistent about parenthood with you Lilian is that no matter what weather condition we are in – you continue to bring a smile to my face with your love for living life.

I love you.

xo

Dear Lils:

This weekend your Dad suggested we get out of dodge for a night or two to escape our normal routine. The thing about having a kid and traveling – or should I say a ‘spirited’ kid while traveling – is basically you just go somewhere else to deal with the same crap you deal with at home but someone makes your bed and gives your fresh towels and sheets. Your Dad collapsed on the bed after the three hour drive and was like, “Why do I feel like I just took the red eye to Europe?” HA! So true.

No – in all seriousness though we had a great time. The first day was a little brutal because you decided not to nap and were in full Rain Man mode wherever we went yelling “CHAPSTICK CHAPSTICK WHERE IS MY CHAPSTICK WANT MY CHAPSTICK MAMA CHAPSTICK WHERE IS MY CHAPSTICK LILI CHAPSTICK NEED CHAPSTICK WANT IT NEED IT CHAPSTICK” for about three hours straight no breaks. You’d think by two years and a few months I’d be able to tune you out by now but I can sometimes feel like I’m dying a slow death with whatever item you are obsessed with at this particular point in time – stabbing me in the temples. In this case – cherry ChapStick.

While on our trip we had fun taking turns with you in the hotel pool – your first hotel pool swim ever!

You liked playing with the hotel phone. You LOVED the hotel shampoo bottles and couldn’t get enough. In fact over the the two days forget totally about your cherry ChapStick and moved on to your shampoo bottles instead – carrying several of them wherever we went in a mini Hello Kitty purse. You were great about sleeping in a new crib. And loved playing in the hotel room running here and there arranging things and making pretend areas for your stuffed animal Snowy dog and baby doll animal to play in.

Before we left for the trip I picked up a few free DVDS from the library as well as the book, Raising Your Spirited Child:  A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic – and can I say it was the biggest breath of fresh air to read I was not alone in the wonderful world of adorable children like mine that love and live life to the fullest! Your father and I don’t believe in labels – aka – that you are ‘this’ or a ‘that’ kid – but just to know you fit in the category of the kid that is MORE in so many areas of life is such a relief to read. The book is refreshing to read and real and honest. It made me recharge my batteries as your mother and want to continue to do everything I can to be a better Mom to you even if it means stocking up on about 300 cherry chapsticks for some rest and relaxation for the next oh…I don’t know…two weeks until we are on to some other obsession.

Some other highlights included all of us snug in bed in pjs watching the winter Olympics. Last night you watched figure skating for the first time and after the performance ended you sat right up in bed and cheered and clapped with such enthusiasm and genuine glee yelling, “GOOD JOB!” to the TV that it brought tears to my eyes.

You are a funny wild ride Lilian. But you are worth every mile. We love you.

xo

Today in the car your Dad had a great idea for a car game. Each one of us had to say one thing we liked and one things we didn’t like.

Mama: I like…flowers

Mama: I don’t like…dirty snow

Dada: I like…tacos

Dada: I don’t like…squash

Lili: (after long silence thinking) Lili no like…big spiders

Lili: Lili like…um…butterflies…and COSTUMES!…I like. I know.

Dear Lils:

One of my favorite activities to do with you is grab a slice of good Brooklyn pizza. You used to have to sit on my lap but now while ordering pizza at the counter I glance over and there you are. My little buddy. Little tiny head wearing a hat peering over the top of the table top. As a mother who carried you around in my belly and then gave birth to you – I can’t help but have these moments where I look over and go – woah! There is a little kid over there. Where did the little baby go?

You LOVE pizza and you love going to one particular place where you are a ‘regular’. The minute we walk in you say, “HI PIZZA MAN” at volume ten even though all ten dudes working behind the counter say hello to you. You love an audience.

This last trip I loved how glam you looked wearing your ‘jewels’ and eating your slice like a lady. My grandmother would be proud.

‘Gettin’ a slice’ would not be on the top ten things I would think of as something I would bond over with my daughter but here we are. It’s always after we’ve been rushing about here and there in the cold that we find ourselves bursting into the pizza joint, taking off our jackets and enjoying a warm piece of fresh Brooklyn pie.

Last time we went for pizza we shared a table with about seven cops on break. You were the queen of the table getting all of the attention. Many of the cops had daughters of their own and remembered this age hanging out together. You found it fascinating in particular that several of the cops liked to sprinkle garlic on their pizza so now when we go for our regular slice you too ask for garlic.

I hope we can always be buddies Lils. With my growing wasteline maybe come the summer we can move our Mom and Me time up to the smoothie joint down the block instead of our regular pizza but for now who cares! I’m eating it all up. Every second of it.

xo

Dear Lils,

You have been such a little adorable sous-chef to cook with as of late! Our favorite thing to make together is yummy salty kale chips. I need to feel blessed for the small brainstorms I have out of no where in regards to getting you to eat things since our track record has been a long, long road of anti-anything when it comes to getting you to eat. Recently it occurred to me that if I involve you in the cooking than maybe you will be more into the food? And I have to say so far so good. Never in my life did I think you would eat something green much less KALE.

In this photo there is a PILE of Kale stems. I only once showed you how to properly peel off the leaves from the stem and then shred them into small chip sized bits and you took it from there. I am not lying when I say you peeled every kale leaf in that pile. And it killed a good 35 minutes before bedtime when normally you would be whining for me to play you a video!

If you have any memory of us together in the kitchen this will most likely make your father insane. Why? Because he is the real chef in the family. I am the microwave queen that only recently since having a child has attempted to move outside my comfort zone such as boil water and make rice – wow – ambitious I know.

I love you Lils. Thank you for reminding me to always move outside my comfort zone.

xo

Dear Lili,

My friends and roomies used to make fun of me in college. After hosting a party in our dorm room or at our apartment I would inevitably reach some point in the night where I’d look around at the John Hughes style scene – crunched beer cans, tipped over popcorn bowls, people passed out on floors, others making out, etc. and just want it all to end. Immediately. Right then and there. Why? Because I was tired.

I had an expression at the time which they still make fun of me today for. It was:

IT’S BEDTIME

Yes. That’s right. I would be hit almost immediately without warning with the urge to make the party end and walk around with a giant black garbage bag scooping things into it telling everyone the party was over and that …

IT’S BEDTIME

For the last two weeks you have been quite a handful to put to bed. You are SO SO SO clearly tired but you run around your room like a maniac, won’t sit still for a story, do forward rolls off your bean bag chair, ask for snack after snack after snack, beg for water, cry MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY, scream DADDY DADDY DADDY, etc. Yikes. By the time the house is quiet after a long, full, wonderful day it is at least 9PM. A long wonderful day. But LONG.

Tonight Dad was out watching football and I put you to bed. After 50 thousand attempts and needs and wants from you (snack, water, etc.) the lights were finally off and I left the room. I started to walk down the door and hear a huge scream and walked back in saying firmly in the dark:

K: Lilian? What is going on here.

L: Um…let’s see. (you actually said this – and with a perky tone)

K: Lilian.

L: Charlie sleeping?

K: Yes – your friend Charlie is sleeping.

L: Um…Sylas sleeping?

K: Yes – your friend Sylas is sleeping.

L: Um…Daddy sleeping?

K: No. Daddy is watching football. Then he is sleeping.

L: No office Daddy?

K: Lilian.

L: Hmn…now what… (you actually said this)

K: Lilian…(and without missing a beat it all came back to me…)

IT’S BEDTIME

xo

Dear Lili,

We are now wondering if you plan to attend medical school thanks to your recent obsession with playing Dr. Lilian. You are very serious with all of your ‘patients’ which include stuffed animal bears, baby dolls, Dad, Me and one snake. There are tons of Band-Aids used per ‘session’.

Mostly I am concerned that my temperature is the same after each visit: four hundred ninety nine eleventeen sixteen

If you are planning on attending med school just give Mom and Dad a little heads up so we can…oh I don’t know…sell all of our belongings.

xo

Dear Lili,

Your favorite activity as of late is climbing up to my vanity mirror and sitting in front of it trying on my jewelry while fake crying in front of the mirror. Ohhhhhhhh boy do we have our hands full.

xo Mom and Dad

Yo Lils,

It’s 2010. Time for Mom to get off her lazy butt and write a few more blog posts. I know. You thought you were all ‘in the clear’ with me writing about you in public. No such luck.

Life with you has been fun lately. You are a real little person that walks next to us and down the street and eats a slice of pizza in a booth without a booster seat and well…it was a time I only dreamed of and now it is finally here. Some funny and random notes as of late:

LEAVING HOUSE: Before we leave the house you have taken to saying, “Mama…got phone?” This is because EVERY MORNING I pack absolutely everything under the sun but my phone and EVERY MORNING I haul all the crap downstairs two flights, lug heavy stroller full of crap and heavy toddler down Brownstone steps and then walk about one block at least and go ‘oh crap’ and then have to wheel you back Lili to the bottom of stairs and say ‘Mommy will be RIGHT BACK!’ and run up a flight of stairs and frantically search the apartment leaving it a total wreck as if a robber broke in.

NO MOMMY: Lots of NO MOMMY lately. And NO LOOK MOMMY! (complete with finger wag) when I merely glance over at you. Lots of NO MOMMY – GO! as you physically push me away. I know I need my bangs cut but am I that bad?

PRETEND PLAY: You are WAY into pretend play lately. Especially pretend doctor with your little doctor kit. You line up your animals and say, “My name Yil-lee-ann” followed by you bending down wearing a stethoscope at eye level with your dolls asking, “Wha happen?” (no T). You then like to take their ‘blue crusher’ (blood pressure) and use about a box and a half of Band-Aids on everyone. I actually heard Daddy utter the phrase, “No more Band-Aids on Cookie Monster. They are starting to rip his fur.”

DADDY DADDY DADDY: After a long day together doing my best to entertain and please you – you enjoy crying for DADDY DADDY DADDY like it’s nobody’s business. It’s very cute actually. Poor Dad was out on the town the other night and had to return home because you refused to go to bed because you needed, wanted, had to see him before you went to sleep. Every creak on the staircase you heard outside our front door your eyes got big and you said, “Daddy?” There were a lot of creaks from 4:30PM until Daddy got home let me tell you. When he returned home you stood up in your crib and literally shuttered with excitement and then did a little side to side dance. Your world was complete.

SPANISH: You pretty much understand most Spanish thanks to your amazing babysitter and teacher who speaks Spanish to you 8hrs a day for 3 days a week. Any time I break out my gringo Spanish you look at me and sometimes even put your hand on my mouth and say NO MAMA. Sometimes when I walk in the house and sneak up on your two playing you are speaking long streams of Spanish I never knew you could. It’s amazing and I feel so grateful for this. Soon I hope you can teach me.

FOOD: You love ice cream sandwiches. Edamame (sometimes – this is a new one). Pasta. Pizza. Chocolate Soy Nut Butter. Waffles. Honey. Juice. Fruit. Cereal. Yogurt. Pirate Booty. The occasional chicken nugget. And that is about it. You are in the 3rd percentile for weight. Used to freak out about this. Getting better that this is who you are and if the doctor says you are just long and lean and not to worry then that is what you are. I love you.

DRUG STORE: Every night to kill the last 15 minutes before dinner/tub/pjs, etc. you and I swing by the giant drugstore near our house. We wander the aisles. Like a person walking their dog – you have your little particular spots in which you like to stop and look at things. You love nail polish bottles. You like to say, “Look Mama! SCOPE!”, you like to take a fistful of Hallmark cards and hold up individual ones saying, “For Daddy?”, “For Nanny?” etc. You like to pick up all the toothbrushes. You like the toy car aisle and always ask, “This one for Lili?”, etc. Some kids have tree houses. We have Rite Aid.

STORIES: You LOVE reading and books. You love  anything Richard Scarry. You love pop up books. And no matter what the book you like to turn to the part in the book that is either scary or something wrong is happening. You are fascinated by anything going wrong just for the chance to yell dramatically OH NO!!!! complete with a gasp and worried frown.

DANCE: You love to dance sister! Luckily you got your moves from Dad and not your finger snapping/clapping Mom. Most mornings you and Dad are in your room and I hear Dad yell DANCE PARTY! And then when a song ends you yell back MORE DANCE PARTY! Adorable and cute you two are.

I love you my little sweetie. You are more fun to be with each and every day.

Now eat your veggies.

xo

Dear Lili,

Today was your first day of Practically Preschool. It is a program here in Brooklyn at a local playspace where they host a class for toddlers to get them ready for real preschool. Oh my gosh. What a trip it was.

We spent the morning prepping you about where you were going. We read a little book about Penelope a bear that goes to school. I changed your outfit like 15 times for some reason. I packed your backpack of snacks and you added two items of your own – a broken cell phone and a washcloth. We were off!

We we arrived I think the kids were picking up on the nervous energy of the mothers in the room because there was lots of clinging and crying and NO! and various other toddler outbursts. But soon the teacher Lauren took control and quickly got your attention with a combo of stories, music, snacks, art projects, etc.

Here are some of your highlights in bullet form:

• The minute we walked in the room you said MAS SNACK (more snack in Spanish) MAS SNACK MAS SNACK for the entire 45 minute duration of class (despite the 15 min snack time) and despite the fact you ate a huge breakfast

• There is a boy named Nicolas in your class which BLEW your mind since every night we read a book about a bunny named Nicolas and you literally looked around the room like dude…where is this guy…each time his name was mentioned

• You sat quietly and properly at the table like a big girl. I give myself big props for getting that cheap-o IKEA kids table and chairs a while ago because we’ve been practicing for a while with you and so far so good!

• You asked for 45 helpings from the very patient teacher of water in your tiny paper cup which you dramatically guzzled like I’ve never given you a cup of water in your entire life

• You made a self portrait on a paper plate – middle one

Overall a great experience. It was amusing to watch each toddler in the room with their various ‘isms’ including you. You were snack and water obsessed. Another kid couldn’t stop crying because the teacher wouldn’t sing the song that came after Wheels On The Bus on their cd at home. Another kid melted down during the part where the teacher said to whisper because he thought it meant it was nap time. Another literally clung to his mother’s leg when she made a single move thinking she was going to leave the room.

Kids are so honest and true and hilarious. It was a great lesson for all the Moms in the room who have spent the last twenty plus months devoting ourselves to knowing the ins and outs of our wacky little kids and all their likes and dislikes. The bottom line was hey – here we are – lets celebrate our accomplishment of making it here! And you know what? They’re fine.  We are growing up. All of us.

I only fought back tears once during the end song of ‘You Are My Sunshine’. As I held you on my lap my big girl – at practically preschool – I knew it was time to hold tight and at the same time – start to let go.

xo

Dear Lil,

You are now 21 months – aka the age I can no longer count in months without sounding crazy. In other words – you will be 2 in December. Seems hard to believe.

You are such a little fun buddy to be around lately. You literally crack us up and we crack you up and we are one big pain in sides laughing family. The rest of the time we want to kill each other in our small overcrowded apartment but you know. You can’t have it all.

Right now we are in Maine on a family vacation. It is cold here! But then again your Dad thinks I am being a wimp. I didn’t grow up in New Hampshire so what can I say. For a nap just now I dressed you in a long sleeve onsie, tights, footed fuzzy long-sleeved pjs and leg warmers on top of that. I also put about three blankets in your travel crib. As we know I tend to over due it with the layers so forgive me.

We’ve had a great time here so far and despite you acting like a bored teen the first day but you are starting to adjust. You were so excited to tell me after a walk with Dad about seeing an eagle that you came running up the driveway screaming EAGLE! EAGLE! EAGLE!. You were also excited to report back to Dad that we say a chipmunk on our walk about. You also told Dad the chipmunk was eating a muffin (?) – which was a lie – but that was ok it made up laugh out loud anyway.

Some things you love doing as of late include going through a list of everyone you know before bed. We do this every night and as you might imagine as a Brooklyn kid on a large playground – you know a lot of people. Usually we do it in pairs – matching the kid with their parent or caregiver. You start and I match like this -

You: Charlie

Me: Roz

You: Cheryl

Me: Sylas

etc.

Then right before bed you yell DAY! DAY! and we have to – in the dark – go through our entire day (in order) starting with what we had for breakfast until we went to bed. This routine I love because it helps both you and I wind down from our busy day by reflecting on everything we’ve done. The best is you now chime in with random things that I have to figure out. For example you might say “cello! cello!” and I think long and hard until I remember that’s right. We stopped to talk to our neighbor Nina who was carrying a cello.

Speaking of – you are obsessed with the cello right now. We’ve played you a few Yo Yo Ma (as you call Yo Ma Ma) and you like to imitate his head movements when he plays and then play with a pretend bow. I’m wondering how young I can start you in playing an instrument and hope you keep interested. It would be amazing. The other day our neighbor Nina that tours around the world in a famous musical trio invited us over for a real live viewing of a cello being played. You stood there dumbfounded. Literally frozen as you watched Nina play right in front of your very eyes.

We love you.

Yes I cutting this short. I am starving and need to make lunch.

xo

Lili,

The other day it was one thousand degrees with one thousand percent humidity and we wandered around Brooklyn going from AC venue to AC venue dying of sweat.

On one of our stops we went to a children’s clothing store having a big sale. I was poking through the racks and you more or less were running around destroying the place. After a while I noticed you out of the corner of my eye looking through the rack like the other women in the place.

You grabbed a hanger with a pretty party dress on it and ran over to me. In a perfect valley girl tone you held the dress up to my face and said with an excited expression,

“UGH!! LOVE it…”

You cracked up the entire store and I sooo needed that belly laugh. Thank you.

xo

Dear Lili:

Here is a list of things you like/don’t like:

LIKE

car keys – sticking them in tiny holes all over the apartment, sticking a finger in each nostril as well as crayons (i don’t like), popsicles, lollipops, pacifier, Snowy your stuffed animal dog – from Tin Tin, hats, every night before bed you want me to replay the day literally from moment you got up until you went to bed and if i forget one item your scream ‘PARK!!!’ or ‘UMBRELLA’ and then i have to say something like, ‘ok sorry – yes – we carried an umbrella, play talking on the cell phone, you love plastic cups – stacking them – carrying them around – putting things in them, pouring water from cup to cup, climbing – on everything in the universe especially things that wobble and are totally dangerous, going through the recycling, standing in front of an open fridge and saying, “Hmmnn…” as if you are deciding what to eat, seeing pals in the park that you know – you get so excited it’s like a college reunion even though we see these people mostly every day, pizza, smoothies, quiche, fruit of all kinds except mango, dancing, music, like taking the little hidden key near our doorway and handing it to me each and every time we go in the door, like to rip off the stick on doorbell we put up by our mailboxes, car rides, train rides, bus rides, etc., hiding behind curtains, putting on shoes, love playing with blankets and pillows, water play or any kind, sunglasses, bubbles, carrying around a piece of cloth of some sort – dress or washcloth, play dough, feeding the fish – standing on kitchen chair and dropping food in bowl accept you always want to give more

DON’T LIKE

Hands dirty – if tiny grain of sand on your finger you say, “Dirty. Wash it.” Don’t like food unless it is cut into invisible morsels and say, “Cut it! Cut it!”, the transition from play to bed time (who can blame you really), veggies but will eat spinach, HATE meat – STILL! in any form, hidden or not hidden, etc., hate beans but will eat white fish if mixed in with rice, sleeping or cuddling in our bed – HATE IT ALWAYS HAVE, blowing on things that are ‘hot’, when I take your umbrella away and put it back in the stand, being in the stroller too long, the vaccuum – you are afraid of very few things but literally run and cling to my leg when you see it come out of closet and god forbid – don’t worry though – that doesn’t happen often.

xo

Dear Lili:

Last night Dad and I were in bed. It was super late at night and we were talking in the dark. We were laughing because we had a little flashback of the day you were born and how that night the nurses wheeled you down the hall to the nursery so we could get a good night’s rest.

Until…knock knock knock.

It was the night nurse. We heard the familiar squeak of wheels from the little bassinet cart they had you on and that oh so soon to be familiar scream from our baby not even 24hrs old.

Nurse: Sorry to bother you. But she…she doesn’t like it in there.

Us: Where?

Nurse: The nursery. Where we usually bring all the other newborns.

Us: Why not?

Nurse: Not sure. Maybe gas? Wants more milk? Not sure.

Us: Maybe the other babies are keeping her up?

Nurse: No. There are no other babies in the nursery at this time.

Flash forward: Lili. From the DAY you were born until now you HATE HATE HATE to be where the action ‘isn’t’. An empty playground, at home alone with us, a cabin in the middle of nowhere, etc. You need and crave and love stimulation at all times. This is who you are and how you have always been. We can laugh now only because we know.

xo

Dear Lili,

Sorry to fall behind a little on the old digital baby book over here. I promise to make up for it soon. I just accepted some intense amount of freelance work for the month of August and September which meant canceling two pre-planned annual family vacations. So bummed But yet I’m so grateful and excited for the work and look forward to celebrating with you and Dad when it is completed and finished.

In other news…

You are 20 months. You are the age where I can’t say your age in months anymore without sounding like those crazy parents that say ’45 months’ when asked the age of their child. Let’s just say you will be 2 in December and boy is that mind blowing.

Also mind blowing is your ability right when you wake up and right before you go to sleep to totally have a burst of language like never before. I can’t tell you how crazy it is to go into your room in the morning and have you say, “Morning Mama! Food. Breakfast. Waffles? Ok.” and then tonight before bed a similar deal.

Before bed tonight I brought out a book we’ve had forever called “First 100 Words” and it is a picture dictionary – of words. Every time I read it you show mild interest or play with your toys when I am reading it. But tonight you opened the book while on your belly and flipped the pages like a pro and with your little hand you pointed to images and said almost in a bored tone like ‘whatever’:

hairbrush fish baby towel pillow lamp book

(flip page)

tomato strawberry orange grape apple broccoli banana cheese

No pauses. No breaks. No breaths. As I said. One word after another in almost a deep sigh tone.

Ok. First of all. You’ve never had a piece of broccoli in your life despite our attempts to repeatedly give it to you. How on earth did you know broccoli much less say it clear as day?

The only way I can describe the tremendous amounts of leaps and rewarding bounds parenthood has to offer parents is imagine this… imagine one night your partner of several years just came into the living room and started ….oh I don’t know… playing the accordion out of nowhere – huge long complicated songs – and you are there on the couch having a glass of wine and turn your head their way STUNNED like, “OH MY GOD! I had no idea you could play the accordion?!!!” That is what it is like as a parent. The constant surprises. They keep our life fresh and interesting. Full of suspense.

What waits for us around the corner now?

You pointed to the faucet in the bathtub and said ‘water…comes’

Dear Lili,

For some reason you have fallen in love with the world’s most boring animated television show on planet earth – Bob The Builder. It pains me to watch (no offense to the creators) the few episodes I’ve seen. None of which are on actual TV any more and instead are found on You Tube as far as I know.

Here is a little taste of the excitement from the show synopsis:

“Bob The Builder follows the adventures of Bob and his lovable gang of friends and machines ­ Scoop (a scooper), Muck (a dump truck), Lofty (a crane), Dizzy (a cement mixer), and Roley (a steam roller) ­ as they work together to solve problems.”

Don’t feel bad. I nodded off by the second line too.

So how did you come to hear of this show? Sure ok. It’s my fault. I was in a used bookstore searching for books in Spanish seeing as we are all trying to learn. And there it was. In the ‘take this book no one wants it’ 25 cents pile. When is the last time you bought something for 25 cents? That’s right. Never. And this is why.

The book was shaped like a hammer. Perfect for your little hands. A quick glance revealed some cute animation and it was off to the cashier.

When I got home you were so happy to see this book. You said, “mas mas mas” wanting me to read it over and over again. The only problem that became quite clear quite fast was this book was not written in baby Spanish not to mention – TOTALLY BORING. It was full of complicated vocabs for words I’ve never heard of in English much less Spanish – all having to do with construction and tools.

Then…I attempted to hide the book. Sure. That is mean of me but I couldn’t deal – I’m sorry. But no matter where I hid the book you found it and would come running at me clutching the book with eyes wide saying “mas mas mas” which made me cave each and every time.

Well then tonight…we were playing with Play Dough. And you had a plastic tube and stuck a long piece of clay on the end that sort of flopped off the sides. Without saying anything to you I said to myself, “Wow – that looks just like a hammer”. Two seconds later you started to sing the Bob The Builder construction theme song:

Bob bee dee doo ….Bob bee dee doo

(Bob the builder….Bob the builder)

So here you are little darling. My little construction obsessed toddler. I look forward to discussing with you some big ideas I have for our apartment. So get those tools ready.

xo

Dear Lili,

A quick post to tell you that your vocab as of late has been out of control in such a great way. As your mother, each day becomes more and more enjoyable for me as you learn to communicate your needs and thoughts. It literally is the most moving and adorable thing I have ever seen.

Some highlights:

Every time your father and I get into a car service (most – driven by men) we say the same thing each time – “Hello sir, how are you?” The other day we were coming home from a long commute back from a great weekend in Fire Island and when we stepped into the cab you beat us to the punch (all the while strapped in my Bjorn) saying, “Hello sir, how are you?” clear as day – I nearly died laughing. My little parrot.

Tonight before bed you were hungry and marched in your little footed pajamas into the kitchen. You held your hands on the fridge door and said, “Hungry. Food.” then you walked over to your highchair and said “Sit? Bib?” Then once seated you said, “Food. Mas. Agua?” And then once I fed you you said “All none (all done) and then for the first time you said “I’m finished”.

You are also doing something funny as of late which is tagging a very enthusiastic OK! to the end of your phrases and often in a very tricky, funny manner. For example I will say to you, “What do you want for breakfast?” And you will say, “Popsicle. OK!” Um – no. Or I say, “Lili, it’s time to put on your pajamas.” and you will say, “Swings? Park? OK!” Good try babe.

As a parent I can’t EVEN begin to tell you how fun and amazing this level of communication is. We have endured 19 months of crying that could be any number of things due to gas, hunger, sleep, thirst, etc. And now you tell it like it is. Way to go babe.

I love you.

xo

Dear Lili,

I am totally digging your pretend play as of late. Nothing is cooler and more inspiring to me than a kid’s imagination.

There is a lot of fake eating with fake foods and drinking from tea cups in a tin tea set. There is a lot of fake ‘night night’ involving you or your dolls laying on the rug in your room with a pillow and blanket. You are showing tiny hints of interest in dress up – wearing sunglasses and hats around. Tonight you held up a doll blanket that had a little fringe at the end and said, “Dress?” (pause) and then motioned to your pajamas, “Off?”

The best was watching you do something you’ve never done before tonight. You carefully took the pile of plastic toy animals (2 dogs and 2 leopards) and placed them carefully and slowly in a row lining them up and facing out the door of your pretend play house.

It made me laugh because it is SO your personality (and your Dad’s too). Line up the troops. Open that door. And lets go go go!

Dear Lili:

You are now 19 months old. I’m hoping 18 months was a tease to motherhood like, “Hey, didn’t that totally suck? Well guess what. It gets better.” Much like newbornhood was for us where right when I thought I was going to lose my mind you did things like roll over, giggle and be super cute. Don’t get me wrong. My love for you never fades. My patience however can get a little dim.

For whatever reason 18 months was a beast. A month of nightmare battles of will in all areas including eating, sleeping, etc. You hated your stroller. There was a lot of yelling. Throwing food. You nearly injured yourself over 8 times a day by crying, kicking, screaming and nearly rolling off your diaper changer when getting your diaper changed. You insisted on only drinking water from a plastic bottle. You hated tubs. There were a lot of fake boo boos. No interest or patience for books or stories. Many full body tantrums. 5AM wake ups. The capper was the end of the month where you insisted on holding everything in site at all times even if it was too big for you. Like when we were at Trader Joe’s and I bought a bag of tortilla chips the size of your entire body which you INSISTED I let you hold and eat from the bag our entire walk home. I considered taking side streets so as not to run into other Mom friends wondering, “What mother in her right mind lets her child hold and eat from a giant oversized bag of tortilla chips in their stroller?” Me. That’s who. Tired old me.

A friend with a newborn created the best phrase ever recently. She called her kid a ‘two person baby’. I am now stealing the phrase because it literally describes you as a baby from the moment you were born. The good news is I imagine all this will is going to be channeled into something great as your progress in life like climbing Mount Everest, sailing around the world, writing a novel, saving lives…

When I was a lazy student teen in high school my poor mother was at wits end and finally ordered a video series off the internet that she forced me to watch called, “Where There’s A Will…There’s An A!”

Babe? We will not be ordering this series. Why? Because you already have your will. And I give it an A.

xo

Dear Lili,

Tonight you read us Good Night Moon. This is a special book that your father and you read together almost every night. Your version was a slightly abbreviated version. But it was still adorable. It went something like this:

Neck-ooo (thank you) as you handed over your pacifier and Snowy from Tin Tin stuffed animal dog. And then you began.

(opens book)

Shhhhh (with finger on nose for old lady whispering hush)

Hot (pointing to fireplace in book followed by blowing puffs to cool off something that is hot)

Mush

Socks

Sit (old lady sitting in rocking chair)

Kee-ah (kittens)

Nee En (The End)

*Side note – your Dad also taught you the word raccoon this weekend

Dear Lili,

Recently you and I headed over to a friend’s place to keep her company while her husband headed back to work and she was home with their newborn baby. Back in the early days of motherhood I always enjoyed visits from friends especially in the early months. Then I remembered after the fact that those friends never brought their rambunctious toddlers. And here is why…

When we arrived my new Mom friend was nursing quietly and peacefully with the lights low and a nice movie on. We barged in and Lili you proceeded to run around the apartment like a mad woman which as a curious toddler-  I should have expected. Then the following went down (not necessarily in this order):

-you ate and spilled messy snacks all over their nice couch

-you fell off a chair and started screaming  and crying which made the newborn scream

-you TP’d the bathroom when I was not looking

-you dug your dirty hands in my friend’s fancy lip gloss (sorry – super gross)

-you ran around in their backyard and got wet from rain and then managed to get covered in mud

and then for the pièce de résistance you opened a bottle of fancy baby oil and poured it all over their chair and ottoman in their perfectly decorated nursery.

I do have to thank you though Lili. After this incident you gave me a fantastic business idea. It would be a service to new Moms feeling down and out about their current newbornhood – the lack of sleep. the endless crying, etc. You and I Lili would be hired to come over and spend oh…half and hour to three hours letting you destroy their house and make their lives utter hell.

Magically they would feel cured. Lils, what do you think?

Dear Lili,

When we moved into this old brownstone apartment the first thing I noticed was the gigantic mulberry tree outside. Each summer it bears tremendous amounts of fruit which litter the front small garden and also the popular sidewalk outside. Each spring/summer kids literally hang from the branches to reach the ripest fruit. Men and women in business suits to and from their way home from the subway sneak in a few handfuls of mulberries for themselves. For city living it is a wonderful and amazing summer image. I love it.

Usually around this time of year I feel guilty about not having more green for you (and me) to run around in on the hottest of days. Instead we find clever ways to bring you the summer we more or less grew up with – running through sprinklers (in the public park), picking dandelions (at the zoo) and splashing around in a kiddie pool – even if it means running buckets of water up and down several flights of stairs until we fill it up.

The mulberry tree has been a great addition to our summer traditions. Each time we pass the tree you say, “BERRIS” and point frantically. Then you saying, “HELPING?” meaning you want to help me pick them on your own and not have them fed to you. We stand and eat for a few minutes. Your mouth and hands are stained in black juice as well as many of your clothes which I am trying to be less and less uptight about. The utter joy on your face as we do this makes us so happy and also puts a smile on the faces of people passing us by.

We love you.

xo

Dear Lili,

For several weeks now I’ve had to bring the stroller to a screeching halt the minute we come across one of those Maneki Neko waving/beckoning cats found in many storefront windows thought to bring the owners good luck. The cat is more or less frozen still in expression and one arm waves up and down in a perfectly timed beat.

Each time we pass one you literally scream ‘KEY-AH!’ (Kitty) and then I physically have to remove you from your stroller so that you can press your face against the glass of the storefront and smudge your grimy hands around in total excitement waving back.

One particular store on our way home seemed to really get your attention. It featured a gold cat with a necklace and waving arm. Sadly the owner has since removed it from the window most likely due to the slug like tracks of toddler snot left behind in its wake.

The good news is your Dad is AMAZING. He scored you your very own KEY-AH from Chinatown. The look on your face when you woke up in the morning and saw it sitting on your table waving  – was priceless. You pointed and laughed nervously. You looked back at us fifty times like ‘guys – can you believe this?’ and then you could not stop hugging it and carrying it around despite it’s fifty pound weight. Each time you walk in the room you say ‘Hi KEY-AH!’ and when you leave the room ‘Bye KEY-AH!’. Pretty funny and cute.

Had I done my research prior to I would have perhaps suggested to Dad we get the Maneki Neko with a raised right paw (attracts money) but for now – I’m down with the raised left paw. I could always use more customers.

Dear Lilian,

You know…I read about phases toddlers go through in various books but I never really think it will apply to you. Why? Because aside from kicking my butt on a regular basis – in general you are a pretty good kid.

But woah. The last week has been the exception. We are in a full blown 18 month separation anxiety phase that I not only felt unprepared for but currently feel exhausted by.

Here is what the pros say:

Many children go through a second phase of separation anxiety around 18 months of age that eases as communication skills improve. Symptoms of normal separation anxiety include increasing unease and crying when separated from you or when you show signs of leaving. He or she may also exhibit whining, clinginess or insistence on physical contact with you, shyness, unusual silence, and an unwillingness to interact with others, even if they are familiar.

This is you on the button Lili. You are physically clinging to my legs as I walk from room to room and when I take you to the park you will not go more than two inches from me to run to the slides or show interest in the swings. It’s so ‘not you’. When the normal Mom friends we run into in the park say hello to you you scowl back. I could almost deal if this were the only symptom but every day this week you literally say, “Mommy, mommy, mommy” every five seconds and whine whine whine for most the day even though I’m a few short inches from you. Your regular three days a week babysitter is currently on maternity leave so I guess this could have something to do with it – going from being away from me since you were a small baby three days a week to now 24/7 together. But….yikes.

Here is what I’ve read to help the situation:

What to Do?

The root cause of separation anxiety is your child’s inability to understand that you will return at some point after you leave, so teaching your child this concept will help him get over separation anxiety more quickly. Games such as peek-a-boo and “where’s the baby?” are helpful in demonstrating this idea.

You can also practice trial separations with your baby. Tell him that you will be going into another room and that you’ll be back soon. Repeat the assurances as you leave and talk to him from the other room to demonstrate that you still exist, even though he cannot see you. After a few moments, come back in the room. Gradually increase the length of these practice separations and he will eventually learn that it’s okay if you are gone for a little while and that you’ll always return.

When you do leave your baby, don’t sneak away when he isn’t looking; this will frighten and confuse him and will only exacerbate his feeling of abandonment. Instead, make your good-byes short and sweet when you leave. Tell your baby you love him, give him a kiss, say good-bye and tell him that you’ll be back soon and then leave. Resist the temptation to return if he begins crying – this will only make it more difficult and develop bad habits.

This is also not the time to try out a new babysitter, so if possible, choose a caregiver that your child knows well. However, if you do have to use an unfamiliar sitter, have him or her spend extra time getting to know your baby before you leave and make sure your child is comfortable with the individual before you say good-bye.

Comments/suggestions from any experienced parents that have already gone through this welcome!

Because I don’t live in suburbia my stroller is my car.

Most Moms I run into during the day are in a similar situation. We are out all morning or afternoon without the luxury of going home for pit stops so we have to carry everything we might possibly need for any situation possible. Rain. Sun. Mosquitos. Thirst. Hunger. Snacks. Fevers. Colds. Puke. Poop. Pee. Play.

I admit I take this too far. If someone asked for a small kitten it’s possible I’d have one stuffed somewhere in the bowels of my stroller.

Today’s stroller was a bad one. It was about 3,000 degrees out of nowhere. I was overdressed, sweating and wearing hot dark jeans. Lilian was screaming her guts out and we were about a 20 minute walk from my house. Pushing the stroller felt like I was a sherpa in Nepal lugging thousands of pounds uphill.

Here were the contents of today’s stroller on our walk home:

Rain shield, umbrella, light jacket, sweater, two pacifiers, (3) dishtowels (a present), 2 sponges, container of sliced grapes, toy phone, a mango smoothie, bib, sugar-free lollipop, sun shade, sun hat, sunglasses, 2 containers of raspberries, 1 container of blueberries, 2 boxes of fruit crushers, gym pass, long sleeve shirt, 1 pair of pants, 3 diapers, diaper pad, box of wipes, a friend’s diaper kit left at my house, 1 toy zebra, 1 baby doll, 1 child’s purse, 2 packs of mini tissues, a package of goldfish crackers, 1 pair of pants to return, a spoon, drawing pad and several pens, box of chalk, allergy medicine, wallet, 3 containers of hummus, 2 kinds of hand sanitizer, soccer ball, a bib, cell phone, camera, rain jacket, bean salad, beet salad, snap peas, pita bread, bagels, butter, tortilla chips, mango and some crumpets.

I need a nap.