KDUNK

Dear Lili,

Tonight you read us Good Night Moon. This is a special book that your father and you read together almost every night. Your version was a slightly abbreviated version. But it was still adorable. It went something like this:

Neck-ooo (thank you) as you handed over your pacifier and Snowy from Tin Tin stuffed animal dog. And then you began.

(opens book)

Shhhhh (with finger on nose for old lady whispering hush)

Hot (pointing to fireplace in book followed by blowing puffs to cool off something that is hot)

Mush

Socks

Sit (old lady sitting in rocking chair)

Kee-ah (kittens)

Nee En (The End)

*Side note – your Dad also taught you the word raccoon this weekend

Dear Lili,

Recently you and I headed over to a friend’s place to keep her company while her husband headed back to work and she was home with their newborn baby. Back in the early days of motherhood I always enjoyed visits from friends especially in the early months. Then I remembered after the fact that those friends never brought their rambunctious toddlers. And here is why…

When we arrived my new Mom friend was nursing quietly and peacefully with the lights low and a nice movie on. We barged in and Lili you proceeded to run around the apartment like a mad woman which as a curious toddler-  I should have expected. Then the following went down (not necessarily in this order):

-you ate and spilled messy snacks all over their nice couch

-you fell off a chair and started screaming  and crying which made the newborn scream

-you TP’d the bathroom when I was not looking

-you dug your dirty hands in my friend’s fancy lip gloss (sorry – super gross)

-you ran around in their backyard and got wet from rain and then managed to get covered in mud

and then for the pièce de résistance you opened a bottle of fancy baby oil and poured it all over their chair and ottoman in their perfectly decorated nursery.

I do have to thank you though Lili. After this incident you gave me a fantastic business idea. It would be a service to new Moms feeling down and out about their current newbornhood – the lack of sleep. the endless crying, etc. You and I Lili would be hired to come over and spend oh…half and hour to three hours letting you destroy their house and make their lives utter hell.

Magically they would feel cured. Lils, what do you think?

Dear Lili,

When we moved into this old brownstone apartment the first thing I noticed was the gigantic mulberry tree outside. Each summer it bears tremendous amounts of fruit which litter the front small garden and also the popular sidewalk outside. Each spring/summer kids literally hang from the branches to reach the ripest fruit. Men and women in business suits to and from their way home from the subway sneak in a few handfuls of mulberries for themselves. For city living it is a wonderful and amazing summer image. I love it.

Usually around this time of year I feel guilty about not having more green for you (and me) to run around in on the hottest of days. Instead we find clever ways to bring you the summer we more or less grew up with – running through sprinklers (in the public park), picking dandelions (at the zoo) and splashing around in a kiddie pool – even if it means running buckets of water up and down several flights of stairs until we fill it up.

The mulberry tree has been a great addition to our summer traditions. Each time we pass the tree you say, “BERRIS” and point frantically. Then you saying, “HELPING?” meaning you want to help me pick them on your own and not have them fed to you. We stand and eat for a few minutes. Your mouth and hands are stained in black juice as well as many of your clothes which I am trying to be less and less uptight about. The utter joy on your face as we do this makes us so happy and also puts a smile on the faces of people passing us by.

We love you.

xo

Dear Lili,

For several weeks now I’ve had to bring the stroller to a screeching halt the minute we come across one of those Maneki Neko waving/beckoning cats found in many storefront windows thought to bring the owners good luck. The cat is more or less frozen still in expression and one arm waves up and down in a perfectly timed beat.

Each time we pass one you literally scream ‘KEY-AH!’(Kitty) and then I physically have to remove you from your stroller so that you can press your face against the glass of the storefront and smudge your grimy hands around in total excitement waving back.

One particular store on our way home seemed to really get your attention. It featured a gold cat with a necklace and waving arm. Sadly the owner has since removed it from the window most likely due to the slug like tracks of toddler snot left behind in its wake.

The good news is your Dad is AMAZING. He scored you your very own KEY-AH from Chinatown. The look on your face when you woke up in the morning and saw it sitting on your table waving  – was priceless. You pointed and laughed nervously. You looked back at us fifty times like ‘guys – can you believe this?’and then you could not stop hugging it and carrying it around despite it’s fifty pound weight. Each time you walk in the room you say ‘Hi KEY-AH!’and when you leave the room ‘Bye KEY-AH!’. Pretty funny and cute.

Had I done my research prior to I would have perhaps suggested to Dad we get the Maneki Neko with a raised right paw (attracts money) but for now – I’m down with the raised left paw. I could always use more customers.

Dear Lilian,

You know…I read about phases toddlers go through in various books but I never really think it will apply to you. Why? Because aside from kicking my butt on a regular basis – in general you are a pretty good kid.

But woah. The last week has been the exception. We are in a full blown 18 month separation anxiety phase that I not only felt unprepared for but currently feel exhausted by.

Here is what the pros say:

Many children go through a second phase of separation anxiety around 18 months of age that eases as communication skills improve. Symptoms of normal separation anxiety include increasing unease and crying when separated from you or when you show signs of leaving. He or she may also exhibit whining, clinginess or insistence on physical contact with you, shyness, unusual silence, and an unwillingness to interact with others, even if they are familiar.

This is you on the button Lili. You are physically clinging to my legs as I walk from room to room and when I take you to the park you will not go more than two inches from me to run to the slides or show interest in the swings. It’s so ‘not you’. When the normal Mom friends we run into in the park say hello to you you scowl back. I could almost deal if this were the only symptom but every day this week you literally say, “Mommy, mommy, mommy” every five seconds and whine whine whine for most the day even though I’m a few short inches from you. Your regular three days a week babysitter is currently on maternity leave so I guess this could have something to do with it – going from being away from me since you were a small baby three days a week to now 24/7 together. But….yikes.

Here is what I’ve read to help the situation:

What to Do?

The root cause of separation anxiety is your child’s inability to understand that you will return at some point after you leave, so teaching your child this concept will help him get over separation anxiety more quickly. Games such as peek-a-boo and “where’s the baby?” are helpful in demonstrating this idea.

You can also practice trial separations with your baby. Tell him that you will be going into another room and that you’ll be back soon. Repeat the assurances as you leave and talk to him from the other room to demonstrate that you still exist, even though he cannot see you. After a few moments, come back in the room. Gradually increase the length of these practice separations and he will eventually learn that it’s okay if you are gone for a little while and that you’ll always return.

When you do leave your baby, don’t sneak away when he isn’t looking; this will frighten and confuse him and will only exacerbate his feeling of abandonment. Instead, make your good-byes short and sweet when you leave. Tell your baby you love him, give him a kiss, say good-bye and tell him that you’ll be back soon and then leave. Resist the temptation to return if he begins crying – this will only make it more difficult and develop bad habits.

This is also not the time to try out a new babysitter, so if possible, choose a caregiver that your child knows well. However, if you do have to use an unfamiliar sitter, have him or her spend extra time getting to know your baby before you leave and make sure your child is comfortable with the individual before you say good-bye.

Comments/suggestions from any experienced parents that have already gone through this welcome!

Because I don’t live in suburbia my stroller is my car.

Most Moms I run into during the day are in a similar situation. We are out all morning or afternoon without the luxury of going home for pit stops so we have to carry everything we might possibly need for any situation possible. Rain. Sun. Mosquitos. Thirst. Hunger. Snacks. Fevers. Colds. Puke. Poop. Pee. Play.

I admit I take this too far. If someone asked for a small kitten it’s possible I’d have one stuffed somewhere in the bowels of my stroller.

Today’s stroller was a bad one. It was about 3,000 degrees out of nowhere. I was overdressed, sweating and wearing hot dark jeans. Lilian was screaming her guts out and we were about a 20 minute walk from my house. Pushing the stroller felt like I was a sherpa in Nepal lugging thousands of pounds uphill.

Here were the contents of today’s stroller on our walk home:

Rain shield, umbrella, light jacket, sweater, two pacifiers, (3) dishtowels (a present), 2 sponges, container of sliced grapes, toy phone, a mango smoothie, bib, sugar-free lollipop, sun shade, sun hat, sunglasses, 2 containers of raspberries, 1 container of blueberries, 2 boxes of fruit crushers, gym pass, long sleeve shirt, 1 pair of pants, 3 diapers, diaper pad, box of wipes, a friend’s diaper kit left at my house, 1 toy zebra, 1 baby doll, 1 child’s purse, 2 packs of mini tissues, a package of goldfish crackers, 1 pair of pants to return, a spoon, drawing pad and several pens, box of chalk, allergy medicine, wallet, 3 containers of hummus, 2 kinds of hand sanitizer, soccer ball, a bib, cell phone, camera, rain jacket, bean salad, beet salad, snap peas, pita bread, bagels, butter, tortilla chips, mango and some crumpets.

I need a nap.

Dear Lilian,

Recently you’ve had such a growth explosion. In height and weight (I hope) – but mostly words. Today you said ‘back on’regarding a toy that was missing it’s part and also ‘lemon sour’after sucking on a lemon.

A very nice part of today was when we were walking down our block and you pointed out all your little word associations with the various shops on our Brooklyn block that we pass each day. Sometimes when you are in your stroller melting down and I am rushing to get you home we whiz past these places and it almost calms you down knowing we are close to home.

Without a beat you say:

Meow Meow: for storefront that has a waving kitty statue in window for good luck

Cookies: another deli we once went to and bought animal crackers

Dada glasses: eye glass shop

Wow Lights: liquor store that still displays Christmas lights in window

Hiiiiiiiii baby: laundry mat where the nice women always greet you in this way

Flowers: flower pots outside the Italian restaurant

Crackers: the other deli where I sometimes buy you goldfish crackers

Brella: a store that sells umbrellas and other gear

Bagel: Bagel shop

Bye Bye Daddy: the subway entrance to the F and G train

Ohhh lights: the colored lights hanging from the corner bar

Turn the corner. And then we are home.