Dear Lili:
There are several times as your mother where…well…I have messed up.
A classic story is the time I undressed you to find I had – by mistake – zipped up a giant plastic tub toy shark in the leg of your footed pajamas and that was the reason you were crying all night and not – ‘teething’. Well I have another one for you and for that I am sorry.
The last few weeks when I take you to the park I keep trying to let go of your hands and encourage you to walk to me. As you may remember – a month or so ago you totally walked on your own – across the room and back several times – and we clapped and took and video and life was great. And then you totally totally totally have refused to walk since then.
Yesterday in the park something was different. Something about your refusal to walk. You actually looked very upset and angry when I made you try. When I let go of your hands you looked up at me and said ‘Nuh!’ (No) and started to cry and would fall down. I can’t explain it but as your mother I had a gut feeling something was ‘wrong’ – something about your walking was bothering you. So – natural starting point – your shoes.
I took a look at your feet last night. Really looked at them. I noticed almost out of nowhere – your feet were HUGE. Like the size of a basketball players! In a blink of an eye you grew overnight and today I had the babysitter get your measured at the shoe store and told her to call me with ‘the results’.
Here are the results.
Mama had you in Size 4 shoe and you are a…5. In fact a little more than 5.
Um. Sorry?
Sorry for this little one. Sorry for that look on your face at the playground – the one that has wanted to run and walk but instead you fall down and cry. Sorry your father and mother didn’t measure you but you are growing so fast we forgot to catch up. I promise we really don’t believe in foot binding even if it means you might marry into a nice family for a hefty sum.
We love you. New shoes are on the way. Express. Promise. In fact when you get them I fully expect you to run – run so far away from me. But please come back.
xo
