KDUNK

Dearest Lili,

The rate at which you are putting two and two together about all things in general is both fascinating and scary! In a good way…

This morning when you woke up you said, ‘Mum Mum’which means – I want food. We sat you in your highchair and you happily ate your pancakes. Then after a few moments you turned to the fish in the fishbowl and pointed frantically ‘MUM MUM!’. I looked at you like, ‘huh?’and you pointed again ‘MUM MUM!’. I then saw what you were pointing at which was the fish food container on the table. I said, “You want to feed the fish?” You paused and looked at me…when I picked up the food and fed the fish you then clapped and nodded furiously with joy.

Being understood is just so cool.

Dear Lili,

I had a funny experience with you the other day at the library. I say funny because any time as your mother I get the chance to see you interact with older kids – especially girls – I find it fascinating.

I took you to the library to attempt to read you some books but instead you wanted to do what you always want to do at the library – touch the SNAPPLE machine, pick up gross stuff from the carpet and walk around holding my hand saying ‘hi’…’hi’…’hi’…’hi’…’hi’to everyone and everything in the place that has a pulse.

When you first say ‘hi’to an adult you are quite aggressive. You march right up to them and stare up and wave your little hand and say ‘hi’. You then wait – literally stop in your tracks with big eyes waiting for them to say ‘hi’back. And when they do you literally break into a huge smile, sometimes scrunch your shoulders up in happiness, give a little laugh of joy and move on to your next victim.

On this day you looked very cute I have to say. You had your usual huge smile that lights up your entire face and wacky blond hair growing in all directions with a little bow clip and you were wearing a tiny turtleneck dress, striped tights and little cowboy boots with fringe. Lets just say – I’m a fan.

Shortly after you made your rounds you circled back around to the children’s section where two, two-year-old girls were sitting quietly on bean bag cushions in their adorable outfits and hipster boots reading quietly. I watched as your crawled over to them, literally crawled on to their cushions and leaned in about one inch from their face/eyeballs and said, ‘hi’.

Lets just say you are learning a thing or two about the difference between harassing adults who think it is cute and bigger kids who don’t. As your mother I have to let you figure this out on your own although I did pull you back gently moments later and said, “Gentle Lili – give the big girls some space.”

The two girls watched you for a moment. I wish I had a camera to capture their expressions as they looked at you but it can only be described as two totally blank stares of disgust, a slightly snarled lip as if ‘ugh – annoying’and then one of the girls you were closest to recoiled and said, “Stop little baby. I’m reading.”

Who could blame her really. I had immediate flash backs of how annoying my younger sister was (who I now love) when I was younger and how she just always wanted a piece of me and whatever I was doing.

Who knows how much of this you understand but for now that doesn’t matter.

You’ll learn.

Dearest Lili,

It’s been a while since I quickly wrote down some of the things you are doing as of late. Here they are:

WORDS WORDS WORDS – you are literally talking up a babble storm with the occasional actual word coming out clear as day. This morning you said ‘horse’and ‘cracker’. Cracker came out as ‘Ka Kur’as you pointed to one but boy was it cute. Yesterday you said ‘pig’while we watched a baby video of farm animals. The funny thing is these words exist in your brain and are said but sometimes never resurface. Or some get a day devoted to themselves. Ka Kur. Ka Kur. Ka kur. My favorite is when you put two together which often include one of the words being Mama or Dada. Example: Hi Dada or Dada Shoes or Mama Ka Kur. There is a lot of ‘Muh’being said (more) and pointing to whatever it is you want. I find this whole language thing fascinating.

COMMUNICATING IN GENERAL – Dad and I agreed yesterday that as of late it seems very important to you that we understand what you are attempting to tell us. Before you would point or say thing but now you look at us and very seriously hand us something or grunt or point and you hands down need us to respond to you. When we get it right you clap and scrunch your shoulders in excitement and nod furiously saying ‘yes yes yes’which really comes out sounding like ‘sss sss sss’. Cute.

DROP / PICK UP: You are totally into dropping things (on purpose) and then immediately in a nano second saying, ‘UH!’(as in uh oh). The item has barely hit the ground before you dramatically whip your head around and look at us like ‘you getting this?’This game used to end in Mommy saying ‘oh no! I’ll get it’which you LOVED but now you like to pick it up and then whip your head back to see if I saw you. ‘Good job!’I say and you smile and nod ‘yes yes yes’(sss sss sss). Overall theme – digging verbal appreciation big time.

JARRED FOODS: You are finally eating them. At 13 months. Sigh. Why am I giving them to you? Because it only occurred to me that duh – they are still food. And while I offer you solids first you still only eat small portions. I shove little spoonfuls of jarred food in while you are eating the solids and as a Mom it makes me feel you are getting more intake which you are. This feels good. You still hate veggies. This is sad.

ANIMALS: You love dogs. On TV. Walking down street. In books. You say woof woof.

TEASE: Sadly you have developed what I hear is totally normal but still – a skill of holding out a toy to another kid and right when the kid attempts to reach it you whip it away. I don’t know why you do this. This is bad. I try and gently tell you not to do this. What can I say.

DANCING: You LOVE dancing to music. I credit Dad. Every morning he comes in your room playing music from his iphone. He enters your room dancing which gets you going. You like to stand with your legs spread apart and a HUGE grin on your face and move your hips side to side. It’s the cutest thing. I need to get a video of this ASAP.

HUGS: You just started to give hugs recently. They last for 2.5 seconds but still feels so nice. You put your head on our shoulders and then whip it off and resume playing with your toys. Hey – we’ll take it. You also just started being able to stay still and cuddle watching a video in the morning for about…7 minutes max but still nice.

WIPES: You are obsessed with us handing you a wipe every single time we change you and then you ‘wipe’yourself (hold wipe on your privates for 2 seconds and whip it off). I don’t know why. They we say ‘good job’and you nod furiously and say ‘yes yes yes’(sss sss sss) Perhaps this is one step further to potty training.

WEATHER: You love eating snow. You get angry when I say ok that is enough. When it rains you get pissed because I won’t let you out of your covered stroller to hold the umbrella.

RANDOM: When I come in and check on you in the morning you like to show me you giving the pacifier to your stuffed animal kitty – like 50 times in a row.

PHONE: You say ‘hi’close to 7.5 billion times a day. To strangers. To me. To Dad. You also like to take our phones and fake phones and hold them up to your ear and scrunch your shoulders and say ‘hi’. The other morning quite early when Dad was watching you you speed dialed my mother, put her on speaker phone and when my mother said hi you said, ‘hi’. Perhaps give Dad a chance for some coffee first next time.

Dear Lili,

I’m sorry we are raising you in an apartment that reaches temperatures equivalent to the Arizona desert in July. It’s part of growing up in an old Brooklyn brownstone. We are unable to control the heat at any time of the day or night and spend most winters as a family with a dull, dry cough and nasal passages so barren of moisture a sneeze no longer sounds like a sneeze.

At night – while your father and I are in bed – sizzlin’away like a couple of London Broils on an open flame – you are often in your crib sweating up a storm. Most mornings when we come to check on you – your hair is so wet with sweat that it appears you have just showered and/or cramping Michael Douglas’s look from the movie Wall Street. Either one.

This is such a far cry from the way I grew up. My house as a kid was constantly FREEZING. We had a gigantic old Victorian house where winters meant seeing your breath and only on special occasions (holidays) could we turn the heat on which meant wearing two sweatshirts instead of our normal four.

I have yet to try a humidifier in the apartment in fear of festering mold – I hear they are bad for allergy people like us. Who knows. But it may be time. Why? Because we have taken to calling you ‘little sweat box’which of all the adoring nicknames a parent might call their child perhaps…may not be in the top ten.

Lilian!

Saturday, January 10th around 3PMish you took your first steps!!! Poor Dad was stuck in traffic on his way to pick up friends at the airport. I almost lied and didn’t tell him. But the truth is you only walked a few steps at first on your own for the first time and by the time he came who you were walked back and forth between us in the kitchen for about 15 minutes so that is REALLY when you made it happen. Go Lilian!!!

Here is a short video of the 3rd time you did it. You and I were about to head outside and I had you all dressed and ready to go in your snowsuit. Dad thinks the extra padding may have provided you with the confidence to take your first steps should you fall. He may be on to something! And excuse my high pitched crazy voice of excitement!

Several friends are pregnant right now and some of them are starting to get brave enough to ask me for the real truth about my delivery experience which I have to say compared to those I’ve heard out there – pretty darn lucky. For those of you that hadn’t read it yet or have interest in doing so it is here.

Lili,

Poor Dad. By mistake I’ve taught you something bad and now Dad is wrapped up unwillingly in my insane parenting.

A few weeks ago you crawled towards Dad’s computer cord on the ground. It was plugged into the wall and just as you were about to grab the end I said strongly, “No Lili! No touch. That’s Dada’s.” For the record – I normally don’t talk like a cave woman. Really. It’s just that recently I read somewhere that if you use simple language when speaking to a toddler they can understand you better. Who knows. This could be a total load of crap like most things I read on children. But for us it is working. I digress..

As a result – like most babies obsessed with taboo things – for the next several days you would point to the computer cord on the ground and say, “No Dada” and I would say, “Good girl Lili. No touch. That’s Dada’s.” And then you would say it 75 more times and I would agree.

Unfortunately this has taken a turn beyond my control. The other day we were in the kitchen and you started to crawl towards the hot radiator. I said, “No Lili. Don’t touch. Hot!”

You stopped mid-crawl, furrowed your brow seriously as if suddenly you were ‘so on board’as to the danger of the situation and said in all seriousness, “No – Dada’s.”

Half listening and ok…too tired to deal I said, “Good girl. Yes. No touch. That’s Dada’s.”

Cut to the next day – with the half open paint can. The cactus. The dirty mop. The cabinet beneath the bathroom sink. Everything was a danger zone and um…thanks to my wack job parenting…it all belonged to Dada.

In fear your father might apply a ‘no touch’policy of his own with me (ahem) after hearing the mess I had created – I came clean with my confession of teaching you things were bad and how you now associated them with his name. He was not pleased.

On the bright side – just think how awesome this really is. A way to build up your father’s reputation as a real bad ass so that when you get older and your friends say, “So…what was your Dad really like growing up?” you can say something along the lines of,

“Nice guy. Totally into dangerous things.”

Dear Lili,

I failed to mention that on 12/30/08 we got you your first FISH! Hello? Kind of a good milestone to log here on your digital baby book wouldn’t you say? She (I am just guessing it is a girl) is a fancy tailed goldfish. We attempted to come up with a fancy name to fit her personality/breed and have arrived at: Fifi.

You and I picked her out from the overpriced, crowded pet store on Court Street in Brooklyn that is run by an angry pet shop man who hates Moms and children. You and I had several failed attempts to purchase the fish after being told over the course of different days by the angry man to ‘come back later I’m on the phone long distance’or ‘you don’t want that kind of fish it will die’. Finally on our third day of window shopping we lucked out and were helped instead by what appeared to be the less surly, pimple faced teen son of angry pet shop owner. We got Fifi and were on our way.

You like Fifi. You point and backwards wave at her in the morning during breakfast which is quite cute. Dad made me feel guilty when he first laid eyes on her by saying something along the lines of ‘was that the biggest size tank they had?’Poor Fifi. Trapped in a small tank of pink rocks with a yellow tree that even David Blane couldn’t escape.

Dad was also worried we would have to buy bigger and bigger tanks as Fifi grew ‘over the years’despite me saying, “um…the thing is going to last two weeks”. Dad found this photo and emailed it to me:

Har Har.

I hate to say it Lilian but I think your Dad and I are fish (and possibly cat) people but that will be it. Hope you don’t have your heart on anything bigger say…rats or ferrets…when you get older. ‘Cause it ain’t happening.

Lilian,

It’s possible you said your first Spanish word today! Woo hoo!

I’d like to say I had something to do with it – but no. My Spanish is the equivalent to someone that can only play chop sticks on the piano. Lame.

Credit goes to your amazing babysitter Gabby from Mexico who talks Spanish to you three days a week for eight hours a day and has been for the past six months. So far you can respond to various Spanish words such as Dónde está (where is – this or that) or give me a ‘beso’(kiss) and you take your hand in a full number five and smush it against your face and hold it there (don’t have the ‘blowing’a kiss part down quite yet which is actually very cute).

We have plenty of Spanish/English picture books which we read to you on a regular basis. This morning I was going through them with you. When I got to the photo of a little girl you smiled and pointed to the girl and very clearly said ‘Nina’(niña).

So much of this early language stuff is so questionable – did you actually say that or am I hoping you did? – but I’m rooting for YES – yes you said it and for that I say – muy bien Lili!

Lilian,

You are cute and funny. Today we were at a play space and I was talking to another Mom while you and the other kids played about. But then you stopped and came crawling over to me at a very fast pace and climbed up me and while I was still talking you stood up, leaned on me and put both hands on either side of my cheeks leaning your face forward towards mine like MOM – HELLO?! I’M TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION HERE. And then you furrowed your brow and said very seriously,”Muh Muh” which is your sign for ‘I’m hungry/thirsty”. So I said, “Oh. Ok. Sorry Lili.”

We then marched over to the food bag and I pulled out a cracker and you shook your head NO. Then you pointed and grunted at the juice box container and nodded YES. I put the little mini straw in the juice box and you sipped it right out of the straw (!) taking little breaks and sipping some more.

This sounds like the worlds most boring story, right? But to me it is not. When you have your first kid you spend the first year of their life in total darkness as to what they want or need. Are they hungry? Tired? Did they poop? Pee? Do they have gas? WHAT IS THE DEAL???? For us this is an amazing stage that we are excited about as her parents because our kid is actually starting to communicate with us in ways we understand. I look forward to this brief window until the terrible twos hit when from what I hear – this all goes out the window.

Here is a list of the crap we carry around and pack up on a daily basis:

• food bag
• freezer ice pack to keep food cold
• one yogurt
• one applesauce
• roll of Ritz crackers
• tiny Ziploc of Cheerios
• one package of Mum Mum crackers
• Sippy cup with water or milk
• Extra mini carton of apple juice (when constipated)
• diaper changer
• diapers
• wipes
• a handful of small toys to entertain you wherever we end up
• small board book
• a hoodie sweatshirt since putting it on under your snowsuit is too hot
• snowsuit
• winter hat
• winter boots
• stroller winter sack blanket
• sunshade
• wind shade
• pacifier or two
• lately a stuffed animal of some sort

People ask me sometimes how I lost the baby weight. I can honestly say it might be the 110 times a day I run up two flights of stairs in the morning several times in a row with you screaming your head off at the bottom as I yell, “I’ll be right there!!!!!!” to retrieve several of these items because I forget them even thought I do this every day. Not to mention the fact I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS leave the house forgetting my important items such as my:

• wallet
• keys
• phone
• lipstick

Sigh.

I wonder if I lived in suburbia and had a car – if this would still happen?

Lilian,

This morning I got you dressed in your ‘real shoes’– not your normal slipper/boots with hopes to encourage you to feel more stable in pre-walking. I then brought you in to say good morning to Dad.

Dad said: Are those your shoes Lili? Shoes. Shoes. (point point) Are those your SHOES?

I nodded along furiously beside him with big wide eyes.

You took one long look at me…you then took one long look at Dad…and then with your finger pointed down at your shoes looked back up saying in a tone that can only be described as ‘duh’said:

“Shoes Dada”

Duh

Dear Lil.

I can’t wait until you can talk. No offense. I’m so totally amazed and pleased with your current development which impresses Dad and I on a daily basis but I LOVE hearing hilarious stories from friends about their slightly older kids and the things they say. For whatever reason – I am so looking forward to this stage with you. I really feel like it can only give us more insight to who you are as a person.

My friend Ashley has a fantastic blog about her life as a mother and her family. It can be found at: www.intothewildness.blogspot.com. One of my favorite stories she shared on there recently was a quote from her son:

On the way to the veterinarians office yesterday, Cornell asked from the backseat: “Mom, is it illegal to drive your car with a parrot on your shoulder that has a yellow and blue mohawk?”

Hilarious. How awesome and amazing is that?

I recently came across an old book my parents bought for me titled: I’ve Been Thinking. It is a ‘fill in the blank’book with little sentences to get you going on various topics and for parents to get a little insight to the minds of their children. I hope they still make books like this Lilian so I can buy you one day. If not we can make our own.

Here are some of my entries:

Q:Do you ever show off? Why?

A: Yes. Because it feel good.

Q: When I am alone I…

A: Think and enjoy myself

Q: What vegetable are you?

A: Tomato because I get embarassed

Q: What bugs you?

A: When people lie or I can’t remember something

Q: If you could have another name what would it be?

A: Debbie