KDUNK

Dear Lilian:

Here is a funny (and totally embarrassing to admit) letter I wrote to my friend who is a child psychologist that I thought would be good for your digital baby book. I can hear the snickers now from more experienced parents out there:

“Dear ___,

Lilian is uber uber social. For months now we joke and call her ‘the mayor of Brooklyn’. Wherever we go from whenever I can remember she has smiled and waved and laughed and wanted the attention of everyone around her.

On the playground she always has ignored us (which made us laugh) and has always focused in on trying to get the attention of all the other parents – especially the Dads. For example on the swing she will not make any interaction with us at all – we can wave and clap and act silly and she is totally zoned in on other parents pushing the adjoining swings – trying to smile and laugh and wave for them. She will even go as far as and make noises until they turn around and acknowledge her.

Today at the park a nice woman from England waved to Lili (her granddaughter was on the swing next to us) and as we walked away I said to Lili, ‘Say goodbye friend!’ and Lili kept grinning and pointing at the woman and flapping her arms. We were literally strolling out of the gate and Lili was still turning her neck backwards to look at the woman while making funny noises – fake laughs even and smiling at the woman.

At times it seems so extreme – not in a bad way I guess – but I’m so curious what the deal is. She absolutely hands down also ignores all the other kids – it is almost like they aren’t even there and she zones in on all the caregivers. That is pretty common at this age still I think seeing as they still don’t ‘play’ together yet. But I am so curious about what is up with the attention of others! Everywhere we go she is lucky enough for people to shower her with compliments which is cute but dude…I hope she isn’t a big egomaniac!

Response:

Dear K,

You are so very sweet to write with your concerns… In my opinion, there is nothing to worry about. Children at this age are very interested in grown ups and while you are the most amazing grown ups in Lili’s life, you are ALWAYS there so you become a little less interesting than all the other new people on the street who just LOVE your cute baby and can’t resist showering her with attention.

Adult attention is a lot more focused than child’s attention and more sustained, so it makes sense that Lili would favor that… she can have an old lady engaging with her for a long time while a kid will probably get tired much quicker and is a lot more unpredictable (won’t do all the things she wants them to do).

It is good that she is social, as you say, because it helps her know about the world around her. As she gets a little older and more independent with walking and being able to get to where she wants and be more active, she will redirect her attion to other things and less exclusively to people. But some kids are just VERY social and that is just who they are… so the veredict is still out and we will see who Lili turns out to be. The fact that she is initiating the interactions is also good, she knows what she wants and how to get it… always a good thing with kids (especially young ones). Also, when she gets a little older, she will start to negotiate with other kids around many issues and that will also help her attention and focus on different things.