HOW PARENTHOOD HAS CHANGED ME

Here are a few ways parenthood has changed me:

  • I stop and have a 15 minute conversation (as I did today) with a small 5-year-old boy selling lemonade with his Mom (total strangers)
  • I cry at scripted TV shows that involve sick children or children rushed to the ER
  • I always have wet hair – no time for blow drying
  • I’m proud of my hips which now serve a purpose
  • I take less bullshit in regards to people beating around the bush – I have no time for anything else
  • I get up at 5:30AM and can function
  • I stock my freezer
  • There always manages to be a burp cloth, toy, jar of baby food or teething biscuit in my purse when I escape to meet a friend for a drink at night despite cleaning out my bag prior to
  • I have no cool clothes
  • I avoid onions
  • I am aware of germs
  • I do tremendous online shopping whenever possible
  • I always share a suitcase
  • I eat everyone’s leftovers
  • I carry 16lbs (not including stroller, etc.) around all day
  • I never pee alone

Tell me some of yours?

3 thoughts on “HOW PARENTHOOD HAS CHANGED ME

  1. Cheryl says:

    I constantly sway back and forth whether or not I am holding the baby.

  2. Nicole says:

    I hear everything, even in the deepest sleep.

    I know the lyrics to all the Barney songs.

    I fear cold and flu season.

  3. Kay says:

    Working off of yours…
    * When the mother of a 5 yr old-ish boy today at the playground reprimanded him for throwing his legos off the playset, I looked at him and said, “Well, it WAS a bomb” since I was on said playset and his mom was on the picnic bench “having a conversation” (a.k.a. complaining about something) with another mom. Said kid nodded in agreement with me.
    * I have always cried at scripted TV shows that involve sick children or children rushed to the ER…now my husband knows to change the channel at warp speed
    * I think I can still pull off pigtails or braids because I hope I still don’t look my age
    * I’m thrilled that I’m married to a man that likes my hips because I they’re clearly not going anywhere
    * I take less bullshit in regards to people beating around the bush – I have no time for anything else…and yet I’ve spent way too much time on this computer while Oliver is taking a nap. I SHOULD be clearing out my dresser drawers that are packed beyond capacity even though I pretty much only rotate betw 5 shirts
    * “I get up at 5:30AM and can function”…I have no response to that. I do function well on little sleep but 5:30 is a bit much. We sleep til 7:00-sometimes later. When we got back from WA, Oliver slept once til 9:45 AND we had nothing to do that morning so I slept til 9:00…DREAMY!
    * I stock my freezer too
    * Whenever I run into a toy, plug (pacifier), or teething biscuit in my purse when I escape to meet a friend for just get to go grocery shopping by myself, I beam. THIS is what I’ve been waiting for.
    * “I have no cool clothes”…see above – 5 heavily rotated, questionably fashionable but oh-so comfortable, shirts.
    * I no longer have to avoid onions in my food but still am well aware of them in Oliver’s and my husband’s
    * I am aware of germs but have my own little 5-second rules depending on dryness of dropped item and history of surface said item drops on
    * I do tremendous online shopping whenever possible and I have the credit card debt to prove it…psychologists say it’s some sort of control/comfort thing, I say, it’s VERY convenient and I got SUCH a deal!
    * I always share a suitcase
    * I eat everyone’s leftovers and cannot remember the last time I ate a hot meal – always room temp by the time I get to my turn
    * I carry 40lbs (not including stroller, etc.) around a big chunk of the day but he’s finally better about shifting his weight so it’s not so pull-y
    * I never pee alone but now the IKEA step stool distracts Oliver so I don’t feel like I’m under a microscope
    * Per Cheryl, I sway back and forth if I am talking to or overall near a crying baby
    * Per Nicole, I know the lyrics to all They Might Be Giants kids cds and have successfully converted the if-y lyrics of Alfie by Lily Allen so I can now sing it anywhere without looking like one of THOSE moms.

    GREAT topic. Maybe I’ll come up with my own examples…oh wait, I’ve got one:
    * I SWEAR I have a much better singing voice now that I sing most of each and every day

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