The first time I attempted to give Lili a bottle I did the worst possible thing one can do. I half tipped the bottle backwards so the bottle nipple was half full (of air- not good) so she wouldn’t guzzle the milk too fast. As a friend said – I might as well have pumped her with a bicycle pump full of air. She screamed in pain and was too hysterical to burp and was miserable (and so were we) for the next several hours. It turned out the milk was also freezing cold and had not fully thawed so it was like giving Lili a frozen boob-sicle in the middle of the night when what she really wanted was something warm in her stomach. Ugh. Disaster.
So like any normal human beings would do – we have completely avoided the subject of having to teach her how to use a bottle entirely. It’s fun to pretend you don’t have to deal with really important stuff isn’t it? We thought, “Hey! That’s cool. Not all kids need bottles. Instead we’ll just carry her with us at all times having no privacy or alone time away from her whatsoever for the rest of her life.” That’s cool.
Next week we have a ‘date’. At an actual restaurant. With no baby. For Valentine’s Day. I am terrified – and not just because the only thing I have to wear are nursing bras and maternity jeans (hot). I am terrified because we will have to leave a bottle for the person watching her. I’m worried she’ll scream her head off. Throw up. Choke. The thought of it all makes me very nervous but I suppose for any first time Mom leaving her child for the first time this is all very normal. We chose a place that is literally about a four minute walk from our apartment so god forbid we need to go home we can but still. I did my best to convince the husband that there is nothing more romantic for Valentine’s Day than sharing a bag of chips on the front stoop but he wasn’t having it.
So…this week I have tackled operation bottle – on my own! That’s right people! On my own. I bottle warmed the milk this time – what a concept. I held her tightly as if I were nursing her and then gave the bottle. I did it during the day when she and I weren’t both exhausted. I fully tipped it so the bottle nipple had no air. I also sang and made faces while she looked at me and generally acted like a fool to distract her. It worked.
She took the bottle while giving the most hilarious face. Her eyebrows furrowed and eyes darted as in, “I paid good money for this party and you’re serving me top shelf boob in a plastic cup – how gauche!”
I will continue the cycle again today and will try again tomorrow.
Hope it works.
I’m sorry that I’m always regaling you with my stories of parenthood, but yikes! This one hits so close to home… We gave O a bottle once when she was like six weeks and she drank it and we were like, oh we are SET. I had no idea you had to do it every day and by the time I had to start leaving her, at five months, she had opinions! And those opinions were that there would be no bottles! I recall it as being probably the biggest struggle of babyhood and SO painful for everyone involved. Which is probably why she is still drinking a bottle at 21 months. You are “supposed to” get them off at 1, and I was like, we JUST got her to take the bottle. Now I need to get her off? Gah, can’t deal.
Some things that ended up working:
Not mom giving it
It had to be a certain kind of bottle (of course, not any of the glass or BPA-free or otherwise environmentally-friendly bottles… no, the disposable Playtex Drop-Ins (which I later found out are actually free of BPA))
Recently pumped- not frozen- milk
Her not being starving… that just ended up with her crying and frustrated, Ryan losing his shit, and me sitting in the other room, sobbing and having milk pouring out. Good times!
Wishing you luck.
okay. i’m just so jealous right now.
not just because you got her to take top shelf all by yourself so early (at 8 weeks old, i had my mom come from illinois to live with me so she could bring tallulah to the gallery every two hours – for two solid weeks) (oh, and we mothers have a very hard time not sharing our own experiences when you share yours!!! annoyin, right? speaking of, have Super Baby Food, yet? :) …but jealous because you are blogging nearly every day! aside from sporatic blogs on flickr, i have diligently kept lil’ notes on a calendar…but often they are so cryptic, i can’t recall the moment. Or even better, “CLIMBS ON SOFA”. woah. how meaningful, how poetic; he’ll just really appreciate that in 20 years.
anyway. glad you’re back. and official.com!
yeah for us.
PS you’ve read Operating Insructions, haven’t you? so inspiring.
I love hearing from all you Moms and Dads are you kidding?!
ok. me, too. i love the feedback from moms – and, ahem, you are right – dads too. but sometimes it feels like trying to grab a flashlight when it’s already so satisfying to have it steady on you…